Earth Day came, it went. Big deal. Thankfully it happened on Good Friday this year so my kid didn’t have sit in school hearing his teachers wax eloquent about how we have to fight for the earth! Yeah! Go earth, go! Rah! Rah!

Do I think some people are bit too serious about Earth Day? Why, yes! In fact, did you know that the guy who hosted the very first Earth Day event back in the 70′s, Ira Einhorn, murdered his girlfriend and then composted her body in his closet! Oh, wait. It must have been his OLD girlfriend. Ah, see? Naturally the old girlfriend needed to be recycled in order to make room for a new girlfriend. Now I get it…

Do I think we should live in the biggest trash heap we possibly can? No. Because anyone raised with half a brain tries to take good care of their things and surroundings. However, maybe you’re too young to remember, but those leading us now, the Woodstock generation, left a whole lot of brain material out baked between the cow-piles. Hence they have gone along with lunacy that is unnecessary and will make humans an endangered species.

But that’s for another time. I say that to merely make the point that being anti-Earth Day does NOT equal ‘pro-slob.’

I do have a question for those who are tickled pink each Earth Day. The ones who quake with joy at buying cloth grocery bags, the ones who buy a Prius because ‘they care more,’ or the women (this one is almost ALWAYS perpetrated by a female) who storm up to restaurant managers and demand that the one poor guy at the bar having a smoke put it out! You watch a show about Green Peace and think, “Yes, the elites need to rule, the hoi-poloi is lost without us…” If you get this excited about Earth Day and the Green movement in general, you are most likely ambiguous in your spiritual beliefs (at least so says the people who collect such data) or in one of those faiths that has embraced corporate salvation.

Never heard of it? You’ve heard of ‘Once saved always saved?’ Corporate salvation sounds like this: ‘Everyone with a dime more than me can’t get saved, so send me your money and I’ll send you to heaven…’ Social Justice.(Heh-heh…Until the nineties it was common to call that line of thinking ‘cult-like’ and maybe Janet Reno would come set you on fire, but now it’s far more acceptable!)

So finally, to my question. Green people : Do you have any idea how religious you sound?

I can’t look at your actions and say, “Yes, they ARE religious!” I’m not a mind reader, Kreskin or Karnac. I’m not even Judge Judy.  I can’t say I’m sure I know your intentions.  However,  here are some things to keep in mind. Religiosity does NOT have a denomination. It doesn’t even hang out solely in the Church. Religiosity might be better defined as the actions and attitudes one adopts to make themselves appear more in line with their accepted philosophy and with a secondary goal of appealing to those who hold the same ideals.

But, I guess the short version could be that religiosity centers around anything that you wish to live for other than God. Also known as, idolatry.

Many Christians don’t call it a religion anymore because while there is a great deal of religion in Christianity, there is no Christianity in religion. A lot of Jewish folks do something similar…(No they don’t call it Christianity!)…but Faith.

It’s the difference between button counting, in hopes God will like you, and having a personal relationship with Him. Because, really, what are you going to do to impress God? Memorize a million Bible verses? Give all your money to the poor and make sure everyone else does the same? Go to church and sing the loudest? Pray five times a day? Sure, knock yourself out. But that sound you hear is God yawning as He leans back waiting for a chance to blow your mind.

Aw, c’mon, God IS pretty old, maybe you could shut up and let Him do His thing, just this once, okay?

But we’re so arrogant. People have put the earth in place of God for centuries. Think of all the dumb things men have done to make the earth ‘like us.’ Like human sacrifice. It was considered logical in the ancient orient to toss babies in Moloch’s fire so the crops would grow. The Aztecs just knew that ripping a human apart for their earth god would also make everything grow. These days Green folk have kept humans from having homes, refused to defend human homes from fire, and have fought to keep America from having affordable gas prices by drilling here.  Yeah, sacrificing humans in some way shape or form seems to be a theme,  but it  doesn’t work.

Listen, if the plastic rings from every soda six-pack were picked up, birds would still die. If we quit driving cars, the ozone would still thin. You know what? If we detonated every single nuclear bomb on the planet we might end up killing ourselves, sure. But some of us will only die once, (it’s that whole ‘second death thing that should leave one concerned.) And anyway, life would be back…at some point, at some time, still varied and wonderful.  So understand that the earth doesn’t need you to fight for it because the God many of you Green folk don’t believe in designed it to take care of itself.  And it does.  Very well.

So go ahead, do your Green religion thing so we can all applaud how much more you ‘care’ than the next guy.  Let the world know that  without you recycling soda cans we’re doomed. But when you’re finished, get out of the way because the earth is going to need one hell of a barf bag.

Huh, with all the earthquake activity as of late, maybe she’s winding up…