Matthew Quinn Martin talks Toto and Tradition
Recently, in no small part thanks to my writing partner and fellow Diner editor Libby Cudmore, I’ve become obsessed with vinyl records. Honestly, I’m not quite sure how I managed all these years without them…I almost feel like the music I’ve been listening to up until now has been nothing but a grainy photocopy of the real thing.
Now, while the joys of vinyl are legion––better sound quality, richer listening experience, more interesting cover art, the ability to buy an entire album for the cost of a single download––for me, the best part is hunting for used records. Of course, one can find just about anything on ebay, but the real fun is in digging through endless musty stacks at the Salvation Army, or picking through street vinyl to find a real gem.
Toto’s Hydra is just such a gem. For some reason I’ve never been able to pin down, in high school my friends and I were huge Toto fans. We’d drive around in my friend Chip’s Dodge Colt just blasting “Africa” as loudly as the single dashboard speaker would go, all singing off key the lyrics that still make no sense to me.
Just check out Hydra’s titular track––the one whose lyrics inspired the heading of this blog post. It’s a surreal tale that, had it been put in prose, might have become a slipstream darling.However, it’s the second song of the album, “St. George and the Dragon.” That really grabbed my attention.
People have asked (especially people who are unfamiliar with The Diner) just what the heck kind of stuff we’re looking for. Well, for my part, I’d like to see something that gives me the same feeling I get when I hear that song. You really should listen…but here’s some of the lyrics:
Can you tell me where I might find the Hydra?
Is he wearing a familiar face?
Does he still live below Seventh Avenue
With the princess dipped in lace?
Does he know that I’m a soldier of fortune
And not a victim of circumstance?
We drew lots for his soft underbelly.
Now his fate is sealed with my lance.
The church in the working class ghetto where I grew up was what one would politely refer to as “old school Catholic.” Not quite Inquisition-era, but, being so far from genteel suburbs that the upwardly mobil had fled to in the ’60s and ’70s, it retained a certain rough-edged charm that even Vatican II was unable to whitewash. We didn’t have acoustic guitars like my friend Cody’s church in Milford did––we had a pipe organ and Gregorian chants. No stadium seating for us––straight-backed pews. And instead of puffy wall quilts embroidered with doves and rainbows festooning our vestibule, we had…the saints.
Some were chipped and pitted. All were plaster. A lot were downright gruesome. Saints with arrows sticking out of them. Saints with their eyes torn out. Saints with leprosy. Saints with their heads and other body part splayed out on platters. Thinking back on it, it looked a bit like the set of a Rob Zombie video. Yes, they were terrifying to a small child like me, but also fascinating. And in a very real way, beautiful. I especially see that now. These decidedly non-abstract depictions of the heroes of our faith remind us that we are not alone here. That our shared experience forges a chain going all the way back to the upper room.
Heading into my second round as an editor at The Diner, I can tell you that I’ve read a lot of stories that invoke the Bible––directly, abstractly, literally, symbolically…you name it. But our rich Christian heritage and tradition encompasses so much more than just the Bible. G.K. Chesterton probably put is best, ”Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about.”
I’m not saying everything I want to see needs to be about the Catholic (or even Orthodox) saints. But I would love to read more stuff that brings to bear the nineteen hundred and some odd years of Christian experience since St. John the Divine signed off at Patmos. There is so much material just waiting for the right author to mine. How about a Christian answer to the Da Vinci Code? Or a Gaiman-esque story about St. Francis in Central Park? Or a zombie story with voodoo set during Jim Crow? Or one where a Quaker family is attacked by murderous crows? Or…well you get the picture. I hereby challenge you to put some of that in my slush pile.
And, while we’re at it…
Can you tell me where I might find the Hydra?
Is he wearing a familiar face?
Does he still live below Seventh Avenue
In the slums of Satan’s grace?
• • •
Matthew Quinn Martin would like to be quirkier than he is…but alas he is allergic to fedoras and he lacks the spare time required to drag a plastic alligator around Greenwich Village by a piece of twine. He can be found at www.matthewquinnmartin.com

















